A quick show of hands, who has been running around their house doing something, been on the phone, or even been in the shower only to have a knock at the door. Then when you open the door you discover its not a friend, family member, a vacuum salesman, or even a girl scout selling cookies but a member of some religious organization with some "good news."
You can put your hands down, I really can't count. Well I can, I just can't see your hands, this is a blog, not chat roulette. So no you won't be seeing my dick...unless you ask really nicely.
But the point of the matter is I think we have all been in that situation be it someone from the Church of Latter Day Saints, the Jehovah's Witnesses, or if you are truly lucky, the Brotherhood of Jewish Clowns.
Before I continue, I guess I better explain where I fit on the faith scale before what I say gets misunderstood, and when a person talks faith that can happen quite easily. But honestly, I consider myself as much as a christian as Matt Leinart is considered an NFL quarterback, I have all the potential in the world to do good, but booze and girls get in the way... A LOT.
Very few people know this about me, but at one point I honestly thought about giving my life to God. Luckily, I am/was Lutheran, so no underage hanky panky here, so lets not start those jokes. That being said, and this is the only thing I will say of it, I honestly hope there is a special place in hell for those "men" of the cloth, who took advantage of their position and covered it up. Yes, I'm looking at you, man with the pointy hat.
But back to me and not touching young boys. I was a teen myself and had a love for the church and its ideals and was thinking about pursuing a ministry. Unfortunately due to a new pastor to the congregation and him being much more of a hard-ass than his predecessor it pushed me away from the church and skewed my desire to continue "God's work"
For the record, I honestly doubt that the work I envisioned included getting people out of the shower so I could hand them comic book that will save their heathen soul. Because I know it ticks me off when I stand there in a towel, wondering how they would like it if I showed up at their door giving them a free copy of Hustler Magazine for them to peruse and tell them to ask me any questions if they would like to know more while I give the most insincere smile imaginable.
When I mentioned I was writing this blog to a friend of mine who is a church goer, they seemed apprehensive to how I would handle it. They were worried I was anti-organized religion. I am not against religion in any form but there is a huge condition to that. Whatever you believe in that gets you through the day and is also pillar of strength in tough times I am happy you have found it. I will also admit I am somewhat jealous that you can have that blind faith, as sometimes I am way too cynical and, admittedly, too sarcastic for that.
But here is the condition and its an important one. Do not forcefully disrupt the way I choose to live my life, be it something as small as a comic book when I am in a towel or something as major as strapping a bomb to your chest and blowing yourself up to get 72 virgins in your afterlife. Your ideals are not my ideals, and I am totally peachy with that, unless you are prepared to discuss the cons just as much as the pros, its probably not a good idea to bring it up. You never want to throw rocks at a man with a machine gun.
Believe me, there is nothing wrong with having faith or believing in something, however the entire "My God can beat up your God" gets really old. Because at the end of the religious fight, no one really knows who is pulling the cosmic strings be it God, Vishnu, Allah, Odin, or even Zeus. For all we know, we are some higher beings kid's ant farm and the end of the world is coming when his older brother decided to shake the glass just for fun. Ok, I'm pushing my luck there.
But when its all said and done, most religions teach the important things in life are peace, understanding, and love. So really, when it comes to faith, be it Christian, Jewish, Muslim, or "miscellaneous" (as Reverend Lovejoy puts it), the lessons are all the same, so pick one that you feel is the closest to your ideals. Then live your life the way that makes you happy, just let me say fuck as much as I want and we can get along in perfect harmony.
